dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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