Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
