i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
dude i'm inner monologue high
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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