hell yes lets make some ravioli
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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