What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
