i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
i think im in europe. pls send help
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
