he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
