Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
