you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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