me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
