this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
