Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
