I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize