He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
