? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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