I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
