Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
