I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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