I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Randomize
