Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize
