I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
