so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
