just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
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