He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize