I just cut my nipple shaving
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Come see our sink grown plant.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
