Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
