i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
