new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
