she looked like the before picture.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize