So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
