i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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