I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
We are two peas in an std pod
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
