Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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