at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
