You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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