i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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