Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
