dude i'm inner monologue high
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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