I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
‪He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life‬
Randomize
