your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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