i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
it's like iHOP with fire
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
