Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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