The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
