When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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