I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
