so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Randomize
