Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
