just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
