Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
