You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
