i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
These tits shall not be calmed
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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