I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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