singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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