Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
