come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
